Searching for a deep satisfaction

I feel like a real rockclimber right now. Since I quit my ordered and setteled life, a lot of things have changed. I was reflecting a lot about how I want to be a single person and what my daily life should look like. I became much smoother and nicer with myself and with other people since my brutal cut in life. I think it’s because I’m more sensible than before and my heart and mind is completly open. I can follow the movement of life and this feels like the right thing to me at this point of life.

This movement took me to Spain at the beginning of Feburary after some crazy experiences earlier this year in the middle east. I landed here because I felt in love with a route called « Reina Mora »  a year ago. I had only one wish in mind since, going back and climbing in it again.

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It’s a good feeling to climb on a route we really love and also super interesting to see the lessons it teaches us.

I came to Spain because of some deep friendships I made last year and I missed my friends. Climbing has always had a big sense of sharing to me and I simply like to be surrounded by persons I feel connected to. For me, life makes only sense if I feel love and compassion. This makes me vibrate and feeling alive !

 

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Last year I fell in love with the route and I tried it a lot. By the end of the season I felt frustrated because I failed. I hadn’t had the right attitude ; I was kind of naive because everything  was so new for me. I  was used to finishing routes really fast and then passing to something else. It was the first time I seriously attacked a route with such a big ample and with such a high difficulty.

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This year life brought me back to her, naturally. I’m really enjoying the progression, but also the regression, the joy I feel while doing great links, the suffering when I’m  loosing a lot of skin on sharp holds and the bad night I’m spending somethimes because my muscles are burning so much. I love the physical and mental battles while I’m climbing (I’m having a hard time in the really beginning of the route in an awkward crack). I’m dealing with the little sacrifices I have to make to feel in shape and all the unexpected emotions which are coming up.

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But one thing has always first rang to me : I feel in love and peace with the route. I choose this route because it feels like the right to me to climb and also I feel that I can fully express myself while trying.

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Honestly, I have no idea where this story will takes me and how and when  it will end. I know that I’m giving my best and that I fully live this great experience. I feel unstressed and free and really don’t care about the moment when I will clip the chains. I know that it will be one of the greatest moments in my life and that I will feel something that I’ve been searching for. I’m convinced that the more time it takes, the more I will feel this deep satisfaction I’m looking for. It’s kind of a cool feeling to see things like that…. 😉

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Beside my experiences in route, life feels great here in Spain! I put up my basecamp in Barcelona at my best friends house where I feel such a warm welcome by his entire family. I have an advanced camp here in Cornudella the Montsant where I’m sharing a flat with my buddies Jonathan Siegrist and James Lucas. The town is full of nice people which mostly have a healthy and good spirit! I slowly start to understand some Spanish and Catalan and due to the big American influence here I’m improving my English a lot which is also a good thing. I feel lucky and privileged. Thank’s to all the people which making my life so unique and rich.

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Photo credit: Sam Challéat, Raph Fourau and Paolo Sartori